








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1623 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1394 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2083 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1767 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,329 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | Rasta Smurf | 48% | 82 |
| #3 | StabbingFrenchToast | 46% | 190 |
| #4 | ElectricExplorer | 45% | 104 |
| #5 | Dwcollier | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dwcollier | 45% | 31 |
| #6 | CowardlyPancakes | 45% | 62 |
| #7 | PiggyPlayz | 44% | 98 |
| #8 | Harryw007 | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | Bro ;-; | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StabbingFrenchToast | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ElectricExplorer | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | PiggyPlayz | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Rasta Smurf | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | CowardlyPancakes | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StabbingFrenchToast | 333 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | ElectricExplorer | 255 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | CowardlyPancakes | 176 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | PiggyPlayz | 118 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rasta Smurf | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasta Smurf | +4.62 | 61 | 44 |
| #2 | Jesus | +1.50 | 51 | 41 |
| #3 | Dwcollier | +1.32 | 71 | 45 |
| #4 | StabbingFrenchToast | -0.56 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | Than0s | -0.87 | 61 | 54 |





