








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1253 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3312 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2445 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,308 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carabaffe | 52% | 73 |
| #2 | ElectricExplorer | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | PiggyPlayz | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | Salamèche | 48% | 103 |
| #5 | Than0s | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StabbingFrenchToast | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Mojito | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | JaSaTo | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mykolkaaa | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Hiro | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaSaTo | 271 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | StabbingFrenchToast | 250 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Than0s | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Salamèche | 200 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hiro | 190 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasta Smurf | +3.69 | 62 | 48 |
| #2 | Hiro | -0.03 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | CowardlyPancakes | -0.46 | 55 | 59 |
| #4 | JaSaTo | -0.49 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | Mykolkaaa | -0.87 | 54 | 74 |





