








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3277 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2307 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2874 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1017 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,194 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | WeaViE | 47% | 228 |
| #9 | "mccoy" | 46% | 72 |
| #10 | Pav 2.0 | 39% | 44 |
| #11 | shitass | 37% | 27 |
| #12 | V I B E ☠ | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwartz "moses" peek | 41 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | "mccoy" | 19 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | WeaViE | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Mike Hawkslong | 13 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Pav 2.0 | 10 | 0.0117 |





