








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 469 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 132 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6639 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5519 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5196 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,915,172 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2822 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | the wolf... | 47% | 66 |
| #7 | Pav 2.0 | 44% | 68 |
| #8 | "mccoy" | 44% | 134 |
| #9 | Mike Hawkslong | 44% | 142 |
| #10 | schwartz "moses" peek | 43% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwartz "moses" peek | 90 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | WeaViE | 28 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | "mccoy" | 25 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Mike Hawkslong | 19 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | the wolf... | 15 | 0.0112 |





