








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2193 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5072 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3249 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2922 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,050,085 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwartz "moses" peek | 140 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | "mccoy" | 36 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | WeaViE | 26 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 2tone | 21 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | the wolf... | 21 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeaViE | 981 | 0.10 | 24 min |
| #2 | the wolf... | 498 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | schwartz "moses" peek | 437 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | 2tone | 414 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | retroP | 238 | 0.23 | 6 min |





