










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




140 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1161 | 23% |
| Smokes | 59 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 2709 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 1159 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,500,899 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwartz "moses" peek | 211 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | Mike Hawkslong | 63 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | WeaViE | 37 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | retroP | 32 | 0.0229 |
| #5 | 2tone | 17 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeaViE | 1122 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | schwartz "moses" peek | 526 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #3 | the wolf... | 414 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | 2tone | 353 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | retroP | 289 | 0.21 | 8 min |





