








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2924 | 47% |
| Smokes | 666 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1145 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1445 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,899 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hubert | 47% | 81 |
| #2 | Diego Whap | 47% | 43 |
| #3 | 2tone | 44% | 68 |
| #4 | Mike Hawkslong | 41% | 46 |
| #5 | the wolf... | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schwartz "moses" peek | 43 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | c1hhjjjjj77777 | 36 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | DoSeD 过量 | 19 | 0.0223 |
| #4 | retroP | 18 | 0.0212 |
| #5 | hubert | 16 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeaViE | 281 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | retroP | 193 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | 2tone | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | c1hhjjjjj77777 | 184 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | hubert | 176 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diego Whap | +3.37 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Pav 2.0 | +2.03 | 72 | 39 |
| #3 | hubert | +1.85 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | 2tone | +1.78 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | DoSeD 过量 | +1.60 | 79 | 31 |





