








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1665 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1131 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1135 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $115,676 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Pikachu2342 | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | woop woop | 60% | 70 |
| #4 | sauce | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Ernie | 57% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woop woop | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Ernie | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Matty | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | merkki | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Pikachu2342 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ernie | 232 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | merkki | 164 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | woop woop | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pikachu2342 | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Matty | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeebs | +2.22 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | sauce | +1.58 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | merkki | +0.85 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | Matty | +0.77 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Ernie | +0.35 | 57 | 63 |





