








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1246 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1539 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1451 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2440 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,383 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeebs | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | sauce | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Matty | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | merkki | 50% | 151 |
| #5 | Ernie | 48% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Matty | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | merkki | 50% | 151 |
| #5 | Ernie | 48% | 194 |
| #6 | Jeebs | 47% | 91 |
| #7 | woop woop | 46% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | woop woop | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | merkki | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Jeebs | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Jeebs | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeebs | 620 | 0.32 | 19 min |
| #2 | merkki | 527 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ernie | 519 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jeebs | 251 | 0.38 | 8 min |
| #5 | woop woop | 232 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeebs | +2.40 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Jeebs | +2.09 | 85 | 75 |
| #3 | merkki | +1.79 | 71 | 70 |
| #4 | sauce | +1.77 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | Matty | +1.20 | 77 | 59 |





