








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3506 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4231 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3221 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4182 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,180,004 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeebs | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | Matty | 53% | 206 |
| #3 | Mr tacs | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | sauce | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | merkki | 51% | 312 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | merkki | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | woop woop | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Pikachu2342 | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | sauce | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | merkki | 1077 | 0.17 | 30 min |
| #2 | Jeebs | 986 | 0.32 | 31 min |
| #3 | Jeebs | 507 | 0.35 | 18 min |
| #4 | woop woop | 321 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pikachu2342 | 289 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeebs | +2.37 | 83 | 77 |
| #2 | merkki | +1.70 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | Jeebs | +1.60 | 84 | 74 |
| #4 | sauce | +1.02 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Matty | +1.00 | 77 | 61 |





