








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3140 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2925 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2083 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2500 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,658 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeniEd | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | HorizoN | 85% | 13 |
| #3 | Brashi | 83% | 12 |
| #4 | alan | 71% | 14 |
| #5 | Brazy | 70% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | brandon | 56% | 36 |
| #13 | kouhai | 53% | 15 |
| #14 | bazz | 52% | 71 |
| #15 | duhpe | 50% | 12 |
| #16 | Maxuel | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixate | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | brandon | 9 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Poxteria | 7 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | fl!ght | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Brazy | 4 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bazz | 237 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | brandon | 214 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #3 | fl!ght | 195 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nixate | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | -VulcaN- | 121 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brazy | +3.27 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | c | +3.03 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | -VulcaN- | +2.81 | 90 | 65 |
| #4 | petro ☦ | +2.50 | 88 | 72 |
| #5 | DeniEd | +2.44 | 67 | 45 |





