








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1906 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1486 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 722 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1173 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,930 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brandon | 15 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Poxteria | 12 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | fl!ght | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Dry FBTV | 10 | 0.0201 |
| #5 | c | 9 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brandon | 472 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | c | 236 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | fl!ght | 227 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Poxteria | 182 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | bazz | 126 | 0.18 | 3 min |





