








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2084 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2174 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1533 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1689 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,742 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | brandon | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Poxteria | 53% | 36 |
| #6 | Dry FBTV | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | bazz | 51% | 47 |
| #8 | Nixate | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dry FBTV | 14 | 0.0286 |
| #2 | bayo on Onlyfans | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Nixate | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | brandon | 5 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | c | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | 297 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #2 | Nixate | 181 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | bazz | 178 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Poxteria | 156 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | brandon | 129 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | +4.03 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | fl!ght | +3.13 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | Dry FBTV | +2.66 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | Poxteria | +0.64 | 84 | 61 |
| #5 | bazz | +0.50 | 75 | 67 |





