








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2050 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1445 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 530 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 785 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,664 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jax | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | topshadow | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Asap | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | c | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | religion | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bazz | 51% | 37 |
| #9 | swifty | 51% | 43 |
| #10 | CuteBoyThighs | 50% | 12 |
| #11 | brandon | 38% | 21 |
| #12 | Ball | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brandon | 9 | 0.0228 |
| #2 | fl!ght | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | c | 6 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Nixate | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | topshadow | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bazz | 165 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | swifty | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nixate | 125 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | fl!ght | 120 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | c | 119 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | +4.60 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | Jax | +1.46 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | Ball | +1.40 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | Asap | +1.18 | 85 | 51 |
| #5 | Poxteria | +0.76 | 86 | 57 |





