








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2301 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1514 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 813 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1085 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,109 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dry FBTV | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | catoire | 63% | 54 |
| #3 | c | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | fl!ght | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Outlier | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Outlier | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Nixate | 49% | 85 |
| #7 | cole | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | Raze | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | Poxteria | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | catoire | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Poxteria | 9 | 0.0224 |
| #3 | Nixate | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | c | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | fl!ght | 4 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixate | 206 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | catoire | 158 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | c | 144 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Poxteria | 59 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Raze | 59 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | +4.50 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | fl!ght | +2.50 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Dry FBTV | +1.40 | 74 | 15 |
| #4 | Raze | +1.27 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | catoire | +1.00 | 69 | 52 |





