








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3122 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3217 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2410 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3106 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,412 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 576 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wist | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | t4urtus | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | :> | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Brazy | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | 平-HuNTeR-和 | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | duhpe | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | Nixate | 53% | 32 |
| #8 | c | 51% | 72 |
| #9 | Poxteria | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | fl!ght | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Poxteria | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | t4urtus | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | fl!ght | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | wist | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c | 376 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | fl!ght | 166 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Poxteria | 150 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nixate | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | 平-HuNTeR-和 | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brazy | +2.88 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | t4urtus | +2.87 | 92 | 64 |
| #3 | c | +2.22 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | fl!ght | +0.79 | 84 | 50 |
| #5 | Poxteria | +0.72 | 88 | 60 |





