










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1024 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 902 matches | ||
| Esplay | 17 matches | 1,545 | |
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 188 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4262 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7470 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3808 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3916 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,268,980 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOBY | 53% | 55 |
| #2 | Bob4 | 52% | 219 |
| #3 | SALTTOO | 50% | 66 |
| #4 | Ellingsenツ | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | Becca | 47% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Phoenix | 47% | 210 |
| #8 | rejtch | 45% | 285 |
| #9 | Toxic O'Rakel | 42% | 143 |
| #10 | Markow | 42% | 143 |
| #11 | Gunnie | 39% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Markow | 32 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Bob4 | 28 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Becca | 26 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | rejtch | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Phoenix | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob4 | 916 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | Phoenix | 536 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Becca | 502 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | rejtch | 326 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | SALTTOO | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob4 | +3.08 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Gunnie | +2.04 | 78 | 44 |
| #3 | Ellingsenツ | +2.01 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | SALTTOO | +1.92 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Becca | +1.50 | 67 | 60 |





