










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 572 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2302 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5937 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 4164 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3351 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,450,674 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Toxic O'Rakel | 48% | 216 |
| #6 | Markow | 48% | 65 |
| #7 | Bob4 | 46% | 67 |
| #8 | VildeTilde | 45% | 285 |
| #9 | Phoenix | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VildeTilde | 27 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Becca | 25 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | BO1NK | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Bob4 | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Markow | 9 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VildeTilde | 421 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Becca | 382 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bob4 | 296 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | BO1NK | 220 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Toxic O'Rakel | 201 | 0.04 | 8 min |





