








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 527 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8059 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6864 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4369 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3921 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,898,238 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wohoo | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | SALTTOO | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | ✪ FiRE2k | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | no woman until 2028 | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | VildeTilde | 52% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | maddie | 46% | 157 |
| #8 | rejtch | 46% | 67 |
| #9 | Markow | 45% | 38 |
| #10 | Becca | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | Ellingsenツ | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VildeTilde | 26 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ✪ FiRE2k | 12 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Markow | 10 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | wohoo | 10 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | no woman until 2028 | 7 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VildeTilde | 402 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Phoenix | 196 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | SALTTOO | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ FiRE2k | 166 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ellingsenツ | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SALTTOO | +2.63 | 78 | 73 |
| #2 | Bob4 | +2.40 | 65 | 62 |
| #3 | Ellingsenツ | +1.89 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | no woman until 2028 | +0.93 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | Becca | -0.17 | 68 | 58 |





