








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 872 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 781 matches | ||
| Esplay | 16 matches | 1,613 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6647 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 432 | 2% |
| Smokes | 4491 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7397 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 5666 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,355,299 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY #jeg#er#mindre#bråta | 52% | 117 |
| #2 | SALTTOO | 50% | 54 |
| #3 | VildeTilde | 47% | 217 |
| #4 | Bob4 | 46% | 157 |
| #5 | </3 | -shoxsid | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 768 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | Bob4 | 605 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | TOBY | 412 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | </3 | -shoxsid | 405 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #5 | VildeTilde | 377 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behind yah bitch | +3.51 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | Bob4 | +3.28 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | KENNY #jeg#er#mindre#bråta | +3.16 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | SALTTOO | +2.75 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | Ellingsenツ | +1.77 | 85 | 62 |





