








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 510 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,834 | |
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 169 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4939 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2141 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 5608 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3425 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,487,656 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KENNY #jeg#er#mindre#bråta | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | Andresio | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | SALTTOO | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Bob4 | 51% | 76 |
| #5 | Ellingsenツ | 50% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Matrix | 45% | 153 |
| #8 | TOBY | 45% | 151 |
| #9 | rejtch | 44% | 45 |
| #10 | maddie | 44% | 342 |
| #11 | behind yah bitch | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VildeTilde | 20 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Ellingsenツ | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | TOBY | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | behind yah bitch | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | maddie | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellingsenツ | 418 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | VildeTilde | 403 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bob4 | 331 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | TOBY | 308 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | KENNY #jeg#er#mindre#bråta | 197 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behind yah bitch | +3.44 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Bob4 | +3.22 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | SALTTOO | +3.04 | 83 | 75 |
| #4 | KENNY #jeg#er#mindre#bråta | +2.64 | 70 | 73 |
| #5 | Ellingsenツ | +1.76 | 83 | 62 |





