








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1005 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8563 | 19% |
| Smokes | 11909 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 13850 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 10153 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,331,230 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goingnuts | 54% | 65 |
| #2 | rejtch | 51% | 206 |
| #3 | pis | 49% | 142 |
| #4 | Markow | 49% | 335 |
| #5 | sirup od bokvice | 49% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Markow | 545 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | VildeTilde | 343 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | BO1NK | 319 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | sirup od bokvice | 282 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | rejtch | 280 | 0.06 | 8 min |





