








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1016 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3121 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2186 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2615 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,001,109 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | rejtch | 48% | 216 |
| #8 | Razo | 48% | 44 |
| #9 | BO1NK | 44% | 48 |
| #10 | Markow | 43% | 54 |
| #11 | VildeTilde | 42% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Becca | 24 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | VildeTilde | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | BO1NK | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Markow | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | rejtch | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Becca | 338 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | rejtch | 257 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | VildeTilde | 172 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | BO1NK | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Markow | 84 | 0.07 | 2 min |





