








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1835 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1949 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1746 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,404 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Sandwich Führer | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | HMBRGR | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | TALLIPÄÄLLIKKÖ | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | Oukki | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | iiaipii | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | kuhvari | 49% | 69 |
| #14 | Julma | 49% | 35 |
| #15 | KRTEK KRTEK | 46% | 41 |
| #16 | bossz[st] | 45% | 20 |
| #17 | vozER -♿- | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TALLIPÄÄLLIKKÖ | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ryhis | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | sacrim | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | vozER -♿- | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryhis | 758 | 0.32 | 22 min |
| #2 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 306 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | vozER -♿- | 244 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | sacrim | 198 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | kuhvari | 188 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niskala ) | +2.57 | 74 | 81 |
| #2 | kapdu | +1.88 | 57 | 69 |
| #3 | Conor McDecor ♠ | +1.72 | 56 | 70 |
| #4 | swamppis | +1.38 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | Ryhis | +1.15 | 47 | 76 |





