








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 1,764 | |
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1481 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1533 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1324 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,012 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KuuYkkönenKantaa | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Oukki | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | bossz[st] | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Ryhis | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | HMBRGR | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | sacrim | 49% | 69 |
| #9 | swamppis | 46% | 41 |
| #10 | ✪ Sandwich Führer | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | kuhvari | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | Julma | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sacrim | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | swamppis | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Conor McDecor ♠ | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | KuuYkkönenKantaa | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Ryhis | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryhis | 315 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #2 | sacrim | 127 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Oukki | 112 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | swamppis | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Conor McDecor ♠ | 59 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conor McDecor ♠ | +2.90 | 62 | 69 |
| #2 | Ryhis | +1.49 | 50 | 77 |
| #3 | swamppis | +0.77 | 85 | 55 |
| #4 | Oukki | +0.38 | 58 | 66 |
| #5 | HMBRGR | +0.15 | 62 | 52 |





