








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 565 matches | ||
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8999 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8317 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 12450 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 7766 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,824,306 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hOlic | 62% | 185 |
| #2 | chiken kebab | 54% | 160 |
| #3 | niskala ) | 54% | 143 |
| #4 | Jörgen Von Rectum | 51% | 71 |
| #5 | ✪ Sandwich Führer | 50% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oukki | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Julma | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | vozER -♿- | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | hOlic | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Ryhis | 8 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryhis | 1954 | 0.29 | 54 min |
| #2 | vozER -♿- | 1702 | 0.24 | 52 min |
| #3 | Oukki | 904 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #4 | Julma | 714 | 0.07 | 20 min |
| #5 | hOlic | 524 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | +4.41 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | niskala ) | +1.90 | 63 | 73 |
| #3 | swamppis | +1.74 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Ryhis | +1.22 | 48 | 73 |
| #5 | Jörgen Von Rectum | +1.19 | 56 | 72 |





