








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 927 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15984 | 39% |
| Smokes | 11068 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8832 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5251 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,359,873 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 630 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hOlic | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | HMBRGR | 61% | 74 |
| #3 | Conor McDecor ♠ | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 58% | 86 |
| #5 | KRTEK KRTEK | 57% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | KuuYkkönenKantaa | 47% | 172 |
| #15 | vozER -♿- | 46% | 178 |
| #16 | Mode | 43% | 51 |
| #17 | TALLIPÄÄLLIKKÖ | 43% | 82 |
| #18 | bossz[st] | 42% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oukki | 22 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | kuhvari | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | sacrim | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | KuuYkkönenKantaa | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | TALLIPÄÄLLIKKÖ | 6 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oukki | 1067 | 0.17 | 32 min |
| #2 | vozER -♿- | 860 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #3 | kuhvari | 814 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #4 | KuuYkkönenKantaa | 392 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | sacrim | 357 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conor McDecor ♠ | +2.20 | 63 | 68 |
| #2 | swamppis | +1.74 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | Ryhis | +1.49 | 49 | 73 |
| #4 | vozER -♿- | +1.10 | 49 | 65 |
| #5 | niskala ) | +1.09 | 58 | 69 |





