








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Esplay | 48 matches | 1,704 | |
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4061 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5303 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4058 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,539,782 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conor McDecor ♠ | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | ✪ Sandwich Führer | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | Oukki | 56% | 86 |
| #5 | niskala ) | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | kuhvari | 49% | 117 |
| #13 | Julma | 47% | 99 |
| #14 | Jörgen Von Rectum | 46% | 24 |
| #15 | TALLIPÄÄLLIKKÖ | 41% | 39 |
| #16 | KuuYkkönenKantaa | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuhvari | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Oukki | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Ryhis | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Julma | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryhis | 1028 | 0.28 | 30 min |
| #2 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 362 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Oukki | 319 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | KRTEK KRTEK | 274 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | kuhvari | 254 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hilu )) | +3.06 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | Conor McDecor ♠ | +2.53 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | niskala ) | +2.10 | 62 | 77 |
| #4 | Ryhis | +1.50 | 48 | 75 |
| #5 | kuhvari | +1.06 | 72 | 72 |





