








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 442 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3981 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4783 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3718 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,841,088 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | cHii$ma | 53% | 294 |
| #5 | nipa:D | 53% | 285 |
| #6 | wagwan | 52% | 244 |
| #7 | MUSTA JORI | 52% | 210 |
| #8 | Termis2 | 52% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Termis2 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | wagwan | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Peräkoira | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Smuli_Yöpyöriset | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #5 | cHii$ma | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smuli_Yöpyöriset | 801 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | nipa:D | 579 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | cHii$ma | 490 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | MUSTA JORI | 392 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | wagwan | 351 | 0.07 | 9 min |





