








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1409 | 35% |
| Smokes | 966 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 728 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 918 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,282 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niga williams | 71% | 38 |
| #2 | Jonathan Jones | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | beard | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | x3Silencer | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Tuna | 56% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | zeke | 56% | 25 |
| #7 | william adesanya | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | Mana | 53% | 45 |
| #9 | Muasome | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | Lesterken | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x3Silencer | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | niga williams | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | zeke | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | 296 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | niga williams | 211 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mana | 205 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jonathan Jones | 197 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | x3Silencer | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muasome | +5.90 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | niga williams | +3.38 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | william adesanya | +3.32 | 79 | 39 |
| #4 | Lesterken | +2.01 | 89 | 62 |
| #5 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | +1.09 | 88 | 58 |





