








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3073 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2612 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2353 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,039 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muasome | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | niga williams | 60% | 103 |
| #4 | Lesterken | 60% | 107 |
| #5 | Tuna | 60% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | beard | 58% | 19 |
| #7 | x3Silencer | 57% | 61 |
| #8 | tim pp | 57% | 49 |
| #9 | Mana | 56% | 95 |
| #10 | zeke | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | tim pp | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Tuna | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | x3Silencer | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | niga williams | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | 684 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | niga williams | 572 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | Mana | 426 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 236 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Muasome | 217 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muasome | +5.41 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | Lesterken | +2.92 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | niga williams | +2.08 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | +0.96 | 89 | 60 |
| #5 | zeke | +0.65 | 75 | 66 |





