








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3730 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2210 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2251 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2260 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,024,927 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beard | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Lesterken | 63% | 105 |
| #3 | niga williams | 59% | 133 |
| #4 | Muasome | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Jonathan Jones | 56% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | x3Silencer | 54% | 125 |
| #8 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 53% | 45 |
| #9 | Tuna | 52% | 95 |
| #10 | zeke | 52% | 66 |
| #11 | trang bang | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | tim pp | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Jonathan Jones | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | x3Silencer | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Tuna | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niga williams | 961 | 0.31 | 27 min |
| #2 | Jonathan Jones | 416 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | Tuna | 409 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | x3Silencer | 329 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 233 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muasome | +4.52 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | Lesterken | +4.09 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | niga williams | +2.19 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | +2.06 | 90 | 57 |
| #5 | beard | +1.79 | 82 | 51 |





