








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3245 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2591 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1457 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2355 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,237 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | william adesanya | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 71% | 38 |
| #3 | Muasome | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | zeke | 64% | 74 |
| #5 | Lesterken | 63% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jonathan Jones | 60% | 103 |
| #8 | Mana | 59% | 133 |
| #9 | trang bang | 59% | 61 |
| #10 | x3Silencer | 58% | 92 |
| #11 | tim pp | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trang bang | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Jonathan Jones | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | x3Silencer | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | zeke | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Mana | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mana | 658 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tuna | 513 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jonathan Jones | 473 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #4 | x3Silencer | 220 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Lesterken | 207 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lesterken | +3.73 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Muasome | +3.26 | 89 | 57 |
| #3 | niga williams | +2.55 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | william adesanya | +2.14 | 79 | 48 |
| #5 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | +0.81 | 85 | 57 |





