








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4405 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3287 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3308 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1544 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,750 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 56% | 55 |
| #9 | william adesanya | 54% | 78 |
| #10 | x3Silencer | 53% | 131 |
| #11 | Mana | 52% | 95 |
| #12 | zeke | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | william adesanya | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Jonathan Jones | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | x3Silencer | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Mana | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niga williams | 756 | 0.32 | 22 min |
| #2 | Jonathan Jones | 561 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Mana | 447 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | x3Silencer | 320 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 240 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muasome | +8.08 | 93 | 74 |
| #2 | Lesterken | +4.29 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | william adesanya | +4.27 | 76 | 45 |
| #4 | niga williams | +2.69 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | +1.31 | 87 | 58 |





