








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1403 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1125 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2837 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2619 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,715 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trang bang | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | niga williams | 63% | 127 |
| #3 | Mana | 63% | 105 |
| #4 | Muasome | 63% | 51 |
| #5 | Jonathan Jones | 60% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | 45% | 33 |
| #15 | Lotus | 44% | 57 |
| #16 | mikle | 43% | 28 |
| #17 | Kur0 | 43% | 35 |
| #18 | wildcard | 42% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoes mad | 15 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | wildcard | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Jonathan Jones | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Lotus | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | snkzz | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niga williams | 845 | 0.30 | 24 min |
| #2 | Mana | 486 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jonathan Jones | 484 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | Tuna | 338 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #5 | Muasome | 218 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muasome | +4.58 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Lesterken | +4.03 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | niga williams | +1.91 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | william adesanya | +0.70 | 69 | 40 |
| #5 | XXXTentacion's BMW i8 | +0.63 | 87 | 57 |





