








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 326 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 344 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4497 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5736 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3898 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3753 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,908,305 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 887 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mush Mush | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Copium | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | sabu | 52% | 230 |
| #4 | Dreckiger Dan | 50% | 64 |
| #5 | 5k\ Armmir. | 50% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ぷ HighKo ツ | 46% | 57 |
| #10 | BABABOOOEY | 44% | 228 |
| #11 | FuckingFork | 43% | 53 |
| #12 | λeaveN | 41% | 104 |
| #13 | xeNii_ | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swarrish. | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | 5k\ Armmir. | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | kupii | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | icecream.... | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | BABABOOOEY | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABABOOOEY | 1759 | 0.36 | 45 min |
| #2 | sabu | 583 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | 5k\ Armmir. | 540 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | λeaveN | 328 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Swarrish. | 312 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeNii_ | +1.65 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | λeaveN | +1.27 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | kupii | +1.23 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | FuckingFork | +1.10 | 86 | 69 |
| #5 | 5k\ Armmir. | +1.07 | 73 | 61 |





