








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1064 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 509 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6154 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5592 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5874 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5143 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,342,167 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1804 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingFork | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Copium | 62% | 84 |
| #3 | Dreckiger Dan | 60% | 63 |
| #4 | Swarrish. | 52% | 251 |
| #5 | BABABOOOEY | 51% | 360 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | sabu | 49% | 292 |
| #8 | Mush Mush | 49% | 65 |
| #9 | icecream.... | 48% | 194 |
| #10 | kupii | 47% | 199 |
| #11 | λeaveN | 46% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABABOOOEY | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | kupii | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | icecream.... | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Dreckiger Dan | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Swarrish. | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABABOOOEY | 2923 | 0.37 | 76 min |
| #2 | sabu | 799 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | λeaveN | 507 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | Swarrish. | 504 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | $kim beeble | 488 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingFork | +2.24 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | λeaveN | +1.58 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | 5k\ Armmir. | +0.72 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | Mush Mush | +0.71 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | Dreckiger Dan | +0.62 | 56 | 68 |





