








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 608 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 524 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4755 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4964 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4125 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4673 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,852,527 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copium | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | Mush Mush | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | BABABOOOEY | 49% | 296 |
| #4 | Swarrish. | 49% | 263 |
| #5 | $kim beeble | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 5k\ Armmir. | 48% | 194 |
| #8 | λeaveN | 42% | 90 |
| #9 | xeNii_ | 41% | 46 |
| #10 | kupii | 41% | 116 |
| #11 | Dreckiger Dan | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sabu | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | 5k\ Armmir. | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | BABABOOOEY | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | λeaveN | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Swarrish. | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABABOOOEY | 2537 | 0.38 | 66 min |
| #2 | sabu | 733 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | 5k\ Armmir. | 652 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #4 | Swarrish. | 554 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #5 | $kim beeble | 481 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mush Mush | +2.05 | 62 | 70 |
| #2 | λeaveN | +1.27 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | kupii | +0.93 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | sabu | +0.49 | 56 | 74 |
| #5 | 5k\ Armmir. | +0.47 | 72 | 59 |





