








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 527 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4600 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6731 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6317 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4764 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,352 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingFork | 64% | 74 |
| #2 | Copium | 54% | 84 |
| #3 | Swarrish. | 52% | 235 |
| #4 | Mush Mush | 50% | 50 |
| #5 | $kim beeble | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ぷ HighKo ツ | 48% | 50 |
| #9 | BABABOOOEY | 47% | 328 |
| #10 | 5k\ Armmir. | 47% | 199 |
| #11 | λeaveN | 46% | 175 |
| #12 | icecream.... | 41% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swarrish. | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | sabu | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | BABABOOOEY | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | icecream.... | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | 5k\ Armmir. | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABABOOOEY | 2537 | 0.35 | 69 min |
| #2 | sabu | 840 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | 5k\ Armmir. | 749 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #4 | λeaveN | 601 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | $kim beeble | 420 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | λeaveN | +1.28 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | FuckingFork | +1.12 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | Mush Mush | +1.12 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | kupii | +0.77 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | Copium | +0.47 | 63 | 73 |





