








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 647 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6968 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8016 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 10453 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 8639 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,917,305 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1010 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Copium | 64% | 117 |
| #2 | ぷ HighKo ツ | 63% | 67 |
| #3 | Mush Mush | 58% | 69 |
| #4 | FuckingFork | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | Dreckiger Dan | 55% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kupii | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | icecream.... | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | sabu | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | 5k\ Armmir. | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | BABABOOOEY | 4 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABABOOOEY | 4232 | 0.38 | 111 min |
| #2 | 5k\ Armmir. | 919 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #3 | sabu | 892 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #4 | λeaveN | 672 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #5 | $kim beeble | 565 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuckingFork | +1.86 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | Mush Mush | +1.74 | 61 | 73 |
| #3 | xeNii_ | +1.67 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | λeaveN | +1.21 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | 5k\ Armmir. | +0.92 | 75 | 60 |





