








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1671 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1741 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1032 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,233 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TikTak | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | аугстаак | 51% | 102 |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Ali | 50% | 163 |
| #5 | Ariels | 47% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ariels | 47% | 117 |
| #6 | Karsty | 46% | 68 |
| #7 | sewey | 45% | 94 |
| #8 | Chimaty ⛟ | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | Emiljons | 19% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TikTak | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | аугстаак | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | sewey | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Ali | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | 483 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | аугстаак | 238 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | TikTak | 226 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 139 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Karsty | 129 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +4.26 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | TikTak | +3.57 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +2.29 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | аугстаак | +0.93 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Ariels | -1.04 | 53 | 45 |





