








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5839 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5600 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5849 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4400 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,507,398 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TikTak | 57% | 115 |
| #2 | аугстаак | 52% | 260 |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 51% | 315 |
| #4 | Ariels | 50% | 194 |
| #5 | raikstonen | 50% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | raikstonen | 50% | 163 |
| #6 | Karsty | 49% | 251 |
| #7 | sewey | 47% | 363 |
| #8 | Chimaty ⛟ | 41% | 122 |
| #9 | Emiljons | 31% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 35 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | sewey | 19 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | TikTak | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Karsty | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | аугстаак | 7 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 837 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | аугстаак | 803 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | raikstonen | 532 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | Karsty | 477 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | sewey | 402 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +3.81 | 67 | 73 |
| #2 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +2.87 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | TikTak | +2.67 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | аугстаак | +1.01 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | Ariels | -0.96 | 53 | 39 |





