








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6941 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5485 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4456 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5466 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,104,777 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | raikstonen | 51% | 102 |
| #8 | zatknis pidaras | 50% | 38 |
| #9 | sewey | 47% | 388 |
| #10 | Chimaty ⛟ | 41% | 124 |
| #11 | Emiljons | 34% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TikTak | 21 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | sewey | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Chimaty ⛟ | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Emiljons | 7 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | 857 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 751 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | sewey | 424 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | Karsty | 352 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | TikTak | 347 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +3.75 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +2.19 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | TikTak | +2.12 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | аугстаак | +1.94 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | zatknis pidaras | -0.71 | 63 | 60 |





