








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 698 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1883 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1106 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1221 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,194 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TikTak | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | аугстаак | 54% | 111 |
| #3 | Chimaty ⛟ | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | Ali | 50% | 194 |
| #5 | sewey | 49% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sewey | 49% | 130 |
| #6 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 49% | 103 |
| #7 | Karsty | 48% | 92 |
| #8 | raikstonen | 47% | 117 |
| #9 | Emiljons | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | TikTak | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | sewey | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | raikstonen | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | аугстаак | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | 612 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | raikstonen | 416 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 293 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | аугстаак | 263 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | TikTak | 200 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +3.71 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | TikTak | +3.54 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +2.17 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | аугстаак | +1.57 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | Ariels | -0.86 | 52 | 41 |





