








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1937 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1306 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1279 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,066 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 757 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ariels | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | raikstonen | 57% | 69 |
| #3 | Ali | 57% | 115 |
| #4 | TURK Pipars | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | аугстаак | 56% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 56% | 124 |
| #7 | Karsty | 53% | 73 |
| #8 | Chimaty ⛟ | 49% | 41 |
| #9 | sewey | 44% | 108 |
| #10 | Emiljons | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 27 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | sewey | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | TURK Pipars | 5 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Karsty | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Ali | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | 374 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | аугстаак | 359 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 327 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | raikstonen | 217 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Karsty | 136 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +3.15 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | TikTak | +2.27 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +2.01 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | TURK Pipars | +1.98 | 49 | 78 |
| #5 | аугстаак | +1.28 | 69 | 58 |





