








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3630 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5233 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4083 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4048 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,281,824 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zatknis pidaras | 53% | 70 |
| #2 | Ariels | 49% | 130 |
| #3 | аугстаак | 47% | 388 |
| #4 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 47% | 389 |
| #5 | Ali | 47% | 363 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 57 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | TikTak | 28 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | Ali | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Chimaty ⛟ | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | аугстаак | 11 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | аугстаак | 1357 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | Ali | 1272 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | 1049 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #4 | Karsty | 595 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | Chimaty ⛟ | 576 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali | +4.17 | 67 | 75 |
| #2 | TURK Pipars | +3.51 | 63 | 75 |
| #3 | ///客人是同性恋/// | +3.28 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | аугстаак | +2.40 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | TikTak | +1.59 | 78 | 59 |





