








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 892 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1230 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1871 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1579 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,089,056 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aux_13 | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Frappy0 | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | K!A§ Da Llama | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | spydEr | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | Haunt | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spydEr | 14 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | bonsai | 12 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Grahvelli | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | CSGOAvoid | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Frappy0 | 2 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grahvelli | 454 | 0.34 | 14 min |
| #2 | partypickle | 284 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | K!A§ Da Llama | 234 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | spydEr | 170 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 149 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K!A§ Da Llama | +5.45 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | Grahvelli | +2.19 | 75 | 82 |
| #3 | UhNuke | +1.73 | 66 | 53 |
| #4 | bonsai | +0.98 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | +0.74 | 66 | 65 |





