








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 808 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6835 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7516 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5286 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7330 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,380,995 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 769 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K!A§ Da Llama | 65% | 77 |
| #2 | Grahvelli | 59% | 99 |
| #3 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 58% | 59 |
| #4 | UhNuke | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | spydEr | 54% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | spydEr | 54% | 96 |
| #6 | bonsai | 53% | 97 |
| #7 | Xéro | 52% | 42 |
| #8 | MUGEN | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | iiTurnup | 43% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grahvelli | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | bonsai | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | iiTurnup | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | spydEr | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grahvelli | 702 | 0.33 | 23 min |
| #2 | K!A§ Da Llama | 291 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | MUGEN | 231 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 211 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | spydEr | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K!A§ Da Llama | +4.61 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | MUGEN | +2.53 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | Grahvelli | +2.37 | 77 | 82 |
| #4 | UhNuke | +1.31 | 78 | 46 |
| #5 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | +0.98 | 67 | 64 |





