








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1814 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 139 matches | ||
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6897 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6507 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6970 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8688 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,247,329 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonsai | 28 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Grahvelli | 17 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | spydEr | 17 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | iiTurnup | 17 | 0.0135 |
| #5 | Choir ツ | 16 | 0.0027 |





