








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3119 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5198 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3626 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2503 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3098 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,497 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 636 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aux_13 | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | K!A§ Da Llama | 62% | 100 |
| #3 | FoxTraxi | 60% | 30 |
| #4 | bonsai | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | partypickle | 59% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | z3r0_N | 52% | 23 |
| #11 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 51% | 63 |
| #12 | iiTurnup | 48% | 58 |
| #13 | UhNuke | 43% | 37 |
| #14 | neur0 | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonsai | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | partypickle | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | K!A§ Da Llama | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | UhNuke | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K!A§ Da Llama | 336 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | partypickle | 266 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | [fATwussy] Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 236 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | UhNuke | 140 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | iiTurnup | 106 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K!A§ Da Llama | +3.18 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Choir ツ | +2.26 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | z3r0_N | +2.24 | 88 | 66 |
| #4 | UhNuke | +1.87 | 79 | 48 |
| #5 | Grahvelli | +1.83 | 78 | 78 |





